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Laugh out Loud Facebook Statuses |
Tags:LOL Facebook Status Updates
- Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
- The first rule of breakfast club is don’t you forget about me.
- So your baby doesn’t know any tricks at all?
- My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like the toaster.
- I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
- When your girlfriend or wife says “lol have fun”, do not have fun. Abort mission. I repeat. Abort mission.
- I win every argument… in my head… later that day… in the shower.
- I am hungry 25 hours a day.
- That awkward moment when you miss one step on the stairs and you think you are about to die!
- The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
- I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
- Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
- Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullshit I’ll put up with before I catch on.
- The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you’re having a velociraptor.
- We get it people on Facebook. You’re married, you have kids, you’re happy. Calm down.
- Imagine being 100% naked and hearing a bunch of loud noises you don’t understand, that’s what it’s like to be an animal.
- If you ever want to hate yourself, click the 2008 button on your Facebook timeline and read what you posted.
- I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
- I don’t care who you are, if a kid wants to show you something they’re proud of you better act impressed.
- Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
